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Thursday, May 23, 2013 | 3:34 p.m.

Armed Killer Attack Dolphins Are On The Loose

Three highly-trained attack dolphins with guns attached to their flippers have gone AWOL in the black sea. This Doctor Evil-style freakiness is courtesy of the Ukrainian navy. The dolphins are trained to use special knives and firearms to kill enemy divers. But recently, these murderous mammals disappeared, according to Ria Novosti News. They went rogue, presumably to go in search of mates.
 
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