Too Good For The Yanks
It must be rough being a Yankee fan. Already burdened with having Alex Rodriguez on the roster, they're now also stuck with Joe Torre for at least another year. Seriously, how could a team want to get rid of either of those two? A-Rod, despite an "off year" of .290/35 HR/121 RBI, is still one of the top five players in the game. He's the reigning MVP and could retire as the all-time home run leader. Torre, on the other hand, has put up with more underserved shenanigans and speculation than the rest of baseball's managers combined in the last decade. Yet, he's never melted down and whined about it. Torre has more class in the tip of his pinkie finger than George Steinbrenner could muster up in a century. And still, many Yankee fans actually think the team should dump one or both of these all-time greats. That only proves how spoiled, self-absorbed and disconnected from reality they really are.

Sox Slurp Up Marketing Gimmick
After playing in a stadium named Comiskey Park for more than 90 years, the White Sox sold a piece of their history when the new Comiskey became U.S. Cellular Field in 2003. Now, they've taken corporate sponsorship to the next level. The defending World Champs recently completed a deal with the convenience store chain 7-Eleven to start all of their weeknight home games at -- you guessed it -- 7:11 pm. The Sox had previously begun their games at 7:07 p.m.

"Every time the media announces the game's start time, it will be a gentle reminder of our sponsorship," Margaret Chabris, a spokeswoman for 7-Eleven, told the Associated Press.

Coach Gone Crazy
Mark R. Downs Jr. -- a former Uniontown, Penn., youth baseball coach -- was sentenced to six years in prison last week for bribing one his players to intentionally hit a mildly autistic 9-year-old during warm-ups so he wouldn't have to play him in the game. The incident occurred in July 2005 when Downs offered a child $25 to bean his own teammate prior to a playoff game. The youngster proceeded to hit his less-gifted peer in the groin and the ear. The victim has understandably been reluctant to participate in youth activities since then.

The degenerate Downs' denial offers a glimpse of his mental state. "I didn't do nothing," he said while being led out of the courtroom. Already barred from coaching, Downs can also rule out teaching English.