'Tis the season for the "I wants" to kick into over-drive in millions of homes across the United States. With more than $220 billion at stake this holiday season companies are pulling out all the stops to be the product that completes the well-worn phrase "I want a (blank)!" I believe it is the most popular expression in the English language this time of year.

When the average family needs a wheel barrel to collect the daily barrage of mail-order catalogs, an enormous red flag should go up in towns across the country signaling "rough seas ahead." Even the most disciplined families have trouble maintaining healthy consumer boundaries this time of year because they feel completely overwhelmed.

It hasn’t always been like this. This week I interviewed a couple in their early 70s who remembered that when they were raising their children in the 1950s and 1960s, there was one catalogue (and no Internet) in the house during the holidays.

The instructions to their four children were very straight forward. "Put your initials next to the things you want, but remember you will only get two presents each." And nagging wasn’t permitted. They felt it was the best way to manage the kids’ expectations and their sanity.

I doubt we will ever experience a one-catalog holiday again so consider the following ideas for managing consumer expectations in your family this holiday season:

1. Set a limit for how many items your child can ask for.
2. Set a dollar limit for family holiday spending.
3. Institute a "no nagging" rule. If broken more than three times, consider removing a privilege (telephone time, going to a movie, etc).
4. Tell your relatives (especially the grandparents) what you are doing and ask for their support.

By no means is this an exhaustive list. Use it as a guide to start your own conversation.

How effective is your approach in managing the nag factor?

Even the most diligent families struggle with controlling the nag factor this time of year. Ask your friends what works for them. Sometimes the best ideas are right in your own neighborhood.

If you have an approach that works, send us an e-mail and let us know.

The Money Talks question is designed to build on the Share-Save-Spend tip for the week and can be used as a springboard for additional conversations with family and friends.

Dr. James McNeal says in his book The Kids Market: Myths and Realities that children total about 3,000 product and service requests a year, and parents honor these requests 50 percent of the time.

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