A heaving bosom … the rippling planes of a well-muscled chest … trembling lips parted in a moist O arousal.

And that's just the cover art!

If you're anything like my friends and me, you love reading romance novels but are a little embarrassed at the prospect of bringing your selection to the smarmy barista-cum-arbiter of literary taste working the bookstore counter.

Just for fun, I've come up with this rating that may help us solve our dilemma: brave Barista Boy? Or, click away online and await that nice, plain brown box.

Cover Cheese ratings don't judge the talent of the cover artists, just the silliness of the scene depicted.

Nor does the rating have anything to do with a novel's author or content. Authors rarely have a say in the art slapped on the cover. In fact, at a recent Romance Writers of America conference, published authors attended a workshop titled, "When Bad Covers Happen to Good Books."

Seems they, too, feel our pain.

A little girlie, but I can still hold my head up proudly at the counter.

The bare torso of an ab model … perhaps a toned, lanky pair of legs. It could be a fitness book … right?

Maybe if I just place it face-down at the register …

If I weren't in the store already, and weren't so desperate to read the book, this cover would so merit a double click.

Order online -- those Amazon.com boxes have the cutest little smilies!